Sir Dicky Strikes Again...

...And this time, he wants your freedom. I've been saying for years that self-proclaimed virgin Richard Branson is a lunatic and a fraud and I think that my assumptions are starting to bear fruit.

Do you, loyal Squizz follower and blog reader, like having the freedom to do whatever you want on the internet whenever you feel like it? Yeah, I like it too.

Too bad that slippery chodeloader wants to crush your god-given right to internet access. See this article, which features a scary quote from one of Dicky's lackys.

Didn't we already have a teaparty to throw these British wankers out of our shores? I think it's time for another one.

Soda Police

I know this is old news, but I've wanted to vent my spleen about it publicly for a while. In 1999, "Sir" Richard Branson unleashed "Virgin Cola", his answer to Pepsi and Coke, in the US. Riding into Times Square in a tank (I'm serious), Branson declared war on the two beverage giants. This was tantamount to bringing a knife to a gun-fight, as Virgin Cola tasted marginally better than goat urine. Beaten back across the pond, Sir Limey Entreprenuer tried to stage a comeback in 2004. If you go to your local store, and ask for a Virgin Cola, you'll know how well that went. People like Branson have about as much business in the soda world as a monkey does making omlettes. Bill Gates didn't release Microsoft Cola (Microla?) and I have yet to see a can of Warren Buffett Ginger Ale, because these billionaires are not MORONS. Soda production is an art, not a hobby for the wealthy and bored. Not only was Branson's Cola a lightweight in taste and effervesence, it allegedly gave several people intense headaches and diaharrea. Awesome, jerk-off.

Soda Police: Knock, Knock.

Sir Dicky: Who's there?

Soda Police: Soda Police, Dicky. You're busted.

Sir Dicky: I say! Isn't there some kind of fine I can pay?

Soda Police: 'Fraid not, Boyo. Punishment for a soda this crappy is death. By hanging.

Sir Dicky: Peoples don't likes me soda?

Soda Police: Nope. You just won the X-Prize for unparalleled idiocy, creep. ;-)