Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sir Dicky Strikes Again...

...And this time, he wants your freedom. I've been saying for years that self-proclaimed virgin Richard Branson is a lunatic and a fraud and I think that my assumptions are starting to bear fruit.

Do you, loyal Squizz follower and blog reader, like having the freedom to do whatever you want on the internet whenever you feel like it? Yeah, I like it too.

Too bad that slippery chodeloader wants to crush your god-given right to internet access. See this article, which features a scary quote from one of Dicky's lackys.

Didn't we already have a teaparty to throw these British wankers out of our shores? I think it's time for another one.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A Bright Spot.

Well, after having had my blog hacked in the last 24 hours by who I'm pretty sure was a close friend and business associate of mine, you'd think I'd be nothing but sore. You'd be close.
But the wonderful folks at Dr. Pepper have restored my faith in humanity (well, at least in those who work in our glorious beverage industry). They've announced that they'll give every American a free Dr. Pepper if Axl Rose decides to get off his ass and release his 14-years-in-the-making album, Chinese Democracy, in 2008.

Bravo, gentlemen and women. Now that's what I call a good old fashioned American marketing campaign. You can show Sir Dicky Bunbun where he can stuff his tanks and pennies.

Monday, March 24, 2008

You'd better do better than that.

I don't know who you are, but whoever it is who hacked into my blog and put up that bullcrap (see last post... i definitely did NOT write that) is going to get what you deserve, just you wait.

I'm checking my site's logs and I'm gonna find you sooner or later. And you know what? I'm not even going to take down your post. Cause I ain't got nothing to hide.

Unlike you.

But I'll find you soon.

Guilty Party

This has been weighing on me for a long time. Squizz is not my own formula! I stole it. I'm not prepared to say from who, but I will tell you that I'm a hack. I've never had a good drink idea in my life. All of my inventions are shams. And I feel there's no better place to admit this than right out in public.

I'm no smarter than this guy:

Friday, March 14, 2008

Get ready for your first taste of Squizz!

Well, hello there, friends. After a journey of epic proportions, I'm finally ready to give the American public (at least a small proportion of it anyway) its first glimpse of Squizz. We're going to be taking the drink on the road for the first time, most likely beginning in NYC, then touring a few colleges on the east coast, then making our way west (where we'll definitely hit my alma mater!)

So get ready. We're still locking in our dates, but my guess is the first showing will be the week after next, around March 26 or 27.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Maybe I'm getting old?

Maybe it's the stress of the past year catching up with me, but I'm having one of those mornings in which I can't help but wonder if I'm experiencing an early onset of senility.

Jesus, first I spent a good half hour rummaging around my apartment looking for my keys, only to find them by accident in the container in which I keep sugar for coffee and baking (yes, I am a batchelor who isn't afraid to admit he likes to bake). No idea how I did that, but it's disgusting.

Then I lose my prized Blackberry Pearl. No idea where it is, probably in my trash can, thrown there by accident. Maybe it's time for an iPhone?
On top of all that, I try to log into my friggin' e-mail this morning (which is normally an automatic process, but I guess this time by stupid dell erased my history... bastards) and can't remember my stupid password. Jesus, since when did Google recognize case sensitivity? I guess I've always been a stickler for capitalizing words, ever since Miss Grossman rapped my knuckles with her ruler in 1st grade.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Slurm Lives!

Like the rest of the sane world, I'm a huge fan of Futurama.

Though as an entrepreneur, I can't say it doesn't make me a little nervous to see this announcement: apparently, we're all going to have a chance to try Slurm in the near future.

In addition to the fact that Slurm sounds a lot like Squizz (which is going to launch any day now... stay tuned for a big announcement!), which might cause confusion, I sent a sample of my drink (on the recommendation of my so-called PR agency) to Futurama co-creator David X. Cohen some eight months ago... and never heard back.

Look, I've been told that i can get a little paranoid from time to time, but it does seem a little weird to me, the timing of all this. Eh, but what are you going to do? I"m sure it's just a weird coincidence...